1st Celebrity Crush

High School.  Movie Nights.  Girlfriends.  Day Dreams.  Ooing and Ahing.  Heart throb.

These are the thoughts that ran through my head when I heard the news.  I honestly couldn't believe it.  I didn't WANT to believe it.  The article I read seemed pretty legit.  I didn't want to read any more and I definitely didn't want to watch any news.  I didn't want it to be confirmed.  I felt it was a little silly.  I didn't personally know him.  I had no other connection other than the movies.  But I would be lying if I didn't say I felt a part of my childhood die when I heard that Paul Walker died in a car crash.

What was even more weird was that it happened down the street from where I lived.  I knew the area.  My dentist is around the corner.  I told Sean I wanted to go visit the sight.  A part of me really wanted to pay my respects.  So we did.

We drove to the location and found cars parked along the street.  We parked and walked the half block to the sight of the crash.  There were three news vans and I saw at least two photographers.  There was a large crowd and even more flowers and candles.  The ground was burned.  People were picking up burnt twigs to take home.  There was a tree at an angle.  The other pieces of debris were scavenged, like the tape and speed limit sign that was knocked over.  There was a large poster where people left messages.  So I did.

My message was simple.  1st celebrity crush.  Love HM.  I surprisingly got choked up.  I felt a little stupid, again, it's not like I knew him.  But I was sad.  Legitimately sad.  Not only did I think of the good memories I had with my girlfriends watching The Skulls, learning the dance from She's All That, and day dreaming about him being an active Mormon again to marry me, but I also thought about what a horrific accident it was and how someone's life ended at this very sight.  People lost a loved one.  I hope he and his friend died on impact.  If not, they were burned alive and that is just too horrible to think about it.

Whenever someone dies, whether you know them or not, its a time of contemplation and reflection.  Are you living your life in a way that if you died right now, all would be good in the world.    Would you be happy with your legacy?  Would your family and friends know you loved them?  Many people say of the dead, they were such a happy person.  Or very kind.  Or very good and giving of their time.  Would people say that of me?

People said that of Paul Walker.   And I believe them.  You were a worthy 1st celebrity crush.  RIP  Paul Walker.