Finally Pregnant

This is the second half of our story about getting pregnant (see first half here).   If you want the short version read just the bolded portions.

We got the news that we were pregnant.  I expected to get emotional and super excited but I wasn’t.  I remember sitting in the gardens at work and trying to make myself excited but I couldn’t.  Not because I wasn’t happy, it just didn’t seem real.  I told Sean during the entire process that I literally can’t even imagine myself pregnant.  Then I started to think about the twins that we would be having.  THEN I started to feel something.  Dread.

I was extremely nervous.  I started thinking about the money we would spend getting two of everything and then the biggest worry, C-Section.  Honestly, I wasn’t worried about breast-feeding or raising twins.  I was FLIPPED out over having to get a C-Section.  In the days/weeks that followed this is what brought tears to my eyes.  I barely could handle my shots and IV, how am I to survive (mentally, emotionally) a C-Section?

Weeks went by and during Thanksgiving while we were with Sean’s family, I started to bleed.  I immediately called the Dr who told me to go on strict bed rest and they would see me on Monday (it was Saturday).  I wasn’t worried, not because I didn’t think anything was wrong but because, as I have approached our entire infertility process, I approached it very matter of factly.  I’m cramping and bleeding and that’s that.

My appointment that Monday was Week 6.  They confirmed that I was pregnant with twins via the ultrasound but they saw that I had a blood clot.  The Dr told me to take it easy and lighten my load at work.  The truth is I wasn’t really taking it easy at work.  We were in the middle of this moving project and I felt guilty not jumping in with both feet.  I tried to take it easy over the next few days but on the following Thursday I started bleeding again.  I took Friday off from work and really took it easy until my appointment on Monday (Week 7). 

Clearly we were pregnant with twins.

At this appointment the Dr noticed that the blood clot got a little bigger.  He also noticed that Baby B looked like it had stopped growing.  When I asked him if its completely gone he said he wouldn’t make that call until 8 weeks.  He told me I needed to be on strict bed rest.  So I couldn’t go into work for the next two weeks at least.  He also told me the worst news.  I would have to get two shots in my butt every morning.  These shots were by far the biggest needles I've encountered.  I started to cry in the examination room.  Luckily it wasn't as bad as I was imagining but I was plenty sore with bruises to show for it. 

I think I figured it out that I got these shots 72 times.  Ugh.

So two weeks of bed rest went by.  I read a lot and just rested.  I didn’t watch much TV because it would give me headaches.  I was visited by a couple of friends who knew our situation and some people brought us meals.  That was the biggest help.  I couldn’t make Sean dinner and he wouldn’t come home until really late making it hard for him to make dinner.  We were really blessed with great friends.

Eating my lovely salad on bed rest.

At my Week 8 appointment he saw that the blood clot was still there and Baby B was no longer viable.  I think he was worried I would freak out because he talked to me about “what is positive about this situation.”  But little did he know, I was actually very relieved.   This was not a sad occasion for us.  I knew that we shouldn’t have done 2 embryos and this was God’s natural way of letting us get to the size of family we were suppose to have at this time.

The blood clot was there because the body was terminating baby B.  We just needed to make sure that it wouldn’t affect Baby A, hence the continued bed-rest.  The Dr also told me to expect the blood clot to come out soon.  I waited for the next week and when nothing happened I started to get pretty lax on my “bed rest”.  I just felt like everything was fine. 

Baby starting to take on form during Week 8.

At 10 weeks I saw my regular OB (I would be graduating from Dr. Naj soon).  He was really good and spent the time talking with us about all my medications that I was on and we talked about the blood clot.  He seemed less concerned about it because my placenta was getting stronger and wouldn’t be affected by it.  He confirmed my own feelings.

My graduation appointment with Dr. Naj was Week 12 and he also confirmed that the blood clot was no longer a concern.  He also ordered me off my meds immediately (YEAH!!!!).  They gave me a DVD of our last ultrasound with all my medical records and I was on my way.

Saw a lot during this appointment including the well developed spine.  Baby even sucked its thumb.  How cute!

So we are pregnant, due July 27^th.  Crazy!  It’s been a four-year process and a time that I couldn’t even fathom (yet knew would happen).  There were ups and downs but for the most part we were very ok with our situation.  We approached this situation very matter of factly.  We never got angry and wondered why it was happening to us.  It was just the fact of life.  Yes it took longer for us to have a family, we are older parents than what we would like to be but throughout this whole process I have come to realize that this was the right timing for us.  I am so grateful for the 6 years I’ve had to be just Sean and I.  We honestly have the best of relationships and get a long so well which I think will really be helpful when we are raising our family.  In the beginning I would get a little emotional when I would think about the fact that I wasn’t going to be as young of a mom as I would like (for our subsequent kids) but as time passed I became really ok and at peace with the timing of it all.  The toughest part of this whole process was actually the stress of dealing with people asking awkward and unwanted questions or the insensitive things people would say.  That’s a post in itself.